May 2016 - Creating Yours Mine and Ours

The ex-wife runs your household

May 22, 2016August 24, 2017 by Ruth

Ruth

There was a bit of a rude shock when I discovered that merging households wasn’t as simple as I thought it would be. I imagined my husband and his son and me and my little girl and the way that we did things and compromise to create our own household.…

Brutal Goodbyes

May 17, 2016August 24, 2017 by Ruth

Ruth

You’ve finally managed to live under separate roofs. Immediate assets are mostly divided and you have your space. Now it’s time for the first exchange of your child(ren). You try to talk to your child and explain what is going to happen. You explain dropping off and picking up, phone…

7 Things you should never say to a Blended Family

May 16, 2016August 24, 2017 by Ruth

Ruth

You should fight that! Trying to co-parent with someone you don’t get along with is never easy. There are so many endless possible scenarios of things that seem “unfair.” Factor in an ex-spouse who is spiteful, vengeful and uses the children as ammunition and it can get downright ugly. When…

Allow them to Love!

May 14, 2016November 4, 2016 by Ruth

Ruth

Children are so amazing! They like to please, are so quick to forgive and love to love! This is why it is especially devastating when children are put in a situation where they don’t feel like they are allowed to love. So many divorces are so ugly that no matter…

Loving your stepchildren as your own

May 3, 2016November 4, 2016 by Ruth

Ruth

The answer is simple, but not what you want to hear… no! At least not right away. It’s a pretty unrealistic expectation have so early in the relationship. Now don’t get me wrong, this has nothing to do with your bonus child’s behavior. My little 8 year-old guy is an absolute…

Reasons for Divorce

May 1, 2016November 4, 2016 by Ruth

Ruth

It seems that as soon as you start to reveal that your marriage is in trouble and divorce is imminent everyone wants to know “Why.” Maybe it’s an inherent panic that makes people curious to see if they are doing something damaging to their own marriage but mostly this question…

Titles, Names and Labels

May 1, 2016November 4, 2016 by Ruth

Ruth

Let’s face it. Calling someone a “Step” anything automatically assumes a negative connotation. Particularly because if your relationship is strong and happy usually the “step” just goes away and “step-brother” becomes “brother” and “step-mother” becomes “mother” ect... But until that comfort level is developed, what should you call each other?…

Consider the Children

May 1, 2016November 4, 2016 by Ruth

Ruth

The most hurtful question through my entire divorce was from a family member who asked: “How can you be so selfish and not think of your child?” Where on earth does this accusation come from? How could someone just automatically conclude that because the decision to divorce was made that…