Today while dropping my kindergartener off at school, I surrendered to the television in our van. I’ve been trying to stay away from electronic devices as much as possible for the kids and trying to get them to play with toys, outside or just listen to music in the car. You know, the things you’re “supposed” to make them do.
But I surrendered and I did it! I let them watch a movie in the car on the way to school. And you know what? It was peaceful!!!
There were no annoying questions the entire way to school. And since they are usually ridiculous and pointless questions only asked so my little one can hear herself talk, I don’t feel guilty!!!!
They had sugary cereal for breakfast! My 5-year-old, Libby, helped set the table and serve her little sister. And my stepson made sure to remind me yet again that, “My mom said toaster waffles have cardboard in it!” You know what? I don’t feel guilty!
I packed Libby a school snack that contains RED 40! *GASP* Yes, you heard that right! RED 40! Libby was packing her own backpack and chose her own snack. And you know what? I don’t feel guilty!!!!
I even poured a scoop of protein powder in my pumpkin spice eggnog this morning and called it breakfast… and you know what? I don’t feel guilty!
Why don’t I feel guilty?
Because I am tired! I am tired and exhausted all the time! I am trying to do ever
ything in a modern world combined with old fashioned and holistic parenting and I am exhausted!
I struggle to get up every morning then hurry and race the kids, yelling and barking orders from the moment they get up. Get your shoes. Where’s your backpack? Why didn’t you put it back where it belongs? Did you use the Potty yet? All the while I am in the kitchen making their whole food, organic breakfast.
The rest of the day it’s running around, errands, soccer games, scouts, constant shopping for groceries, cleaning house, sorting clothing that the kids have outgrown, patching together a sobbing child that misses her father, loading the dishwasher for the 3rd time today and can I get an AMEN to laundry!!!
There is no time to cook a “supposed to” dinner after we get back from soccer practice. We rotate kids in the bath. Tom and I each pick a kid to wrestle into their PJs. Then there’s reading stories, cuddles, songs and tucking them into bed. One more drink of water, no really mom! I need another “one more” drink of water. Then soothing yet another separation anxiety attack and combat it with my step-sons favorite MSG containing snack. Ya… I don’t feel guilty about that!
I would much rather be the mom that laughs and giggles with her kids as we bite off the heads and tails of dinosaur chicken nuggets dunked in ketchup and squeezing in a minor educational opportunity on extinction than be THAT mom who drives a wedge between her stepson and his father because I made it a point to only serve banana, pumpkin pancakes made with quinoa flour.
That’s not to say that we don’t strive to be healthy and educate our children on a balanced diet. After all I do have someone hovering over my every mothering choice just waiting for me to mess up. But I do understand that our priorities are needed in soothing stress and mental health, teaching manners and morals while keeping tranquility and sanity ourselves. And in order to stay tranquil, this momma needs chocolate!
Now there are families who’s priorities are to avoid RED 40, carbs, sugar, gluten and whatever else they NEED to do in order to take care of their family.
Then there are families like mine where becoming obsessed with the things that are unessential for our family is sure to drive us all apart.
I firmly believe that our children are sent to us through divine design! And by that design, mothers have the capability to be the best mothers for those particular children. Not all mothers strive to fulfill their potential of course, but those that do, though imperfect, are indeed the perfect mothers for THEIR children.
At the end of the day, as long as you are striving within your capability, YOU are the perfect mother for YOUR children! You are the one in tune with their wants, needs, passions and motivators! YOU are a perfect mother just the way you are! And you shouldn’t feel guilty about it!!!