Right after our wonderful beach vacation and just before our 4 year anniversary, My husband called it quits on our
marriage… again. He simply says “We’re not compatible” and “as of right now, I’m not willing to go to counseling.”
Simple as that. In the blink of an eye I’m finding the entire eternal marriage, sealing and everything we worked so hard on was simply abandoned.
Once again I was faced with single motherhood after 3 years of being a “stay-at-home-mom.”
What is a person to do when insecurities flood over you with unrelenting tenacity? When that inner voice says “You have no degree, certification, marketable skill or job experience.” “You will never be able to provide.” “You can’t do this.” “The Lord abandoned you.”
I can’t even begin to explain the terror that comes with the uncertainty of suddenly needing to provide for your children, not knowing if they will have a roof over their head or where their next meal is going to come from and the daunting pressure always hanging overhead that if you fail, your children can be taken away from you.
You can’t fail, it’s not an option.
Talk about Stress!
Out of all of this heartbreaking circumstance, there is a little miracle that I would like to share with you.
On my first day of looking…. I happened to find an Apartment.
It happens to be a 3 bedroom,
that happens to have a washer/dryer hookup,
that happens to allow the dog,
that happens to be ground floor,
that happens to be affordable housing, which I happen to qualify for,
that happens to be close enough to school,
that happens to be available just in time for school to start,
and I just happened to beat out at least 8 others trying to get this apartment…
And this is even after I, being completely oblivious to the competition and availability in the apartment rental market here in Colorado, waited an entire week before jumping on the paperwork for this place… and STILL got it!
There is no way someone can tell me that all of these “just happens” are pure coincidental.
It’s not a fancy apartment with granite countertops, but everything on my “Needs” checklist was there and then some.
I know that the Lord is standing there with a safety net to catch the ones he loves and are faithful to him.
I know I can never rely on a man to honor his vows and promises but there is one in whom I can always count on. That is our Heavenly Father. He will honor his covenant he has made with us. And if I uphold my part, he will always be there for me.
This little experience has given me a deeper conviction of faith that the Lord will not abandon us. He will always be there. He’s not dangling blessings in front of us only giving them to us when we are perfect. He cries with us, wraps us in his arms and pours his blessings of comfort and protection upon us. He will cover all the slack when we have done all that we can.
He will send Concords of angels to help us. They are in the form of a listening friend who’s eyes fill with tears as she listens to you and cries with you. Sometimes it’s a family member who loves to cook and always sends home leftovers with you. Sometimes it is a little blessing of odd jobs you are offered to help get you through. Other times its an outpouring of love and helpers willing to pack and help you move into your new place. Or that never-ending stream of willing babysitters to take your kids so you can do all the things you need to do or just to simply… cry.
He Will Not Abandon Us!
He lives! And he loves us!